I am writing about a serial killer so it is not unusual to find me trolling the internet for stories about killers and their victims. Up pops an article titled Death Makes Seven Unsolved Murders, Disappearances in Area. It turns out that yes, there have been seven unsolved murders or disappearances in the Area—over the course of the last 30 years. But no, the murders are not otherwise thought to be connected in any way, other than the victims all lived in the Area. So much for finding an interesting connection.
But all is not lost. The piece did provide an interesting foray into the mystical forest of “words and their meanings.” We are informed that the latest case is the recent murder of an elderly retired schoolteacher. The article notes:
“On May 18 shortly before 11 p.m. the [police] responded to a complaint of an unattended death at [the victim’s] residence ….”
WTF is an “unattended death”? Because I have to say, unless this lady died of natural causes, I think her death was “attended.” As in, by the murderer who caused the death.
Reading further, we learn that her injuries were so great, the police were unable to determine the cause of death without an autopsy. Clearly, someone “in attendance” at the murder caused those injuries.
And seriously, did someone really call 911 and report an “unattended death”? Because that person is my prime suspect.
I remain perplexed.
I shall endeavor to be “in attendance” at the drinking of the wine in my glass. There will be no reports to the police of “unattended wine drinking” in this Area.