Category Archives: I Am Not Making This Up

Call a Plumber – It’s Cheaper Than Bail, Part 2

So I have finished sopping up all of the water on the kitchen floor. I am advised, but don’t verify, that a good portion of the torrential burst is now on the basement floor under the kitchen. The basement isn’t … Continue reading

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Just Call a Plumber – It’s Cheaper than Bail, Part 1

I was minding my own business Saturday, getting caught up on laundry, grocery shopping, and doing all the miscellaneous mindless bullshit that sucks the life right out of a weekend. There I was, finishing the last of the dishes, and … Continue reading

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What We Have is a Failure to Communicate

I am umpty-nine years old, nearly an age ending in *ty*. So when the eff will I be old enough that I never have to say, “this is the worst haircut ever?” The answer is, “not this week.” I took … Continue reading

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Almost As Scary As A Spider

There is nothing to writing. All you do is sit down at a typewriter and bleed. Ernest Hemingway No, I have not been blogging. Or Facebooking, or tweeting. [we will not even discuss the other “writing” gig I let myself … Continue reading

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At Least I Didn’t Die

But I could have lost a foot. The official diagnosis was “foreign object impaled in foot.” When I was a kid, we called them “splinters.” But this sounds so much more medically important. My general practitioner took one look at … Continue reading

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