Coe: Why are you getting all these books in the mail?

Me: I need them for research.

Coe: What happened to all the OTHER books you “needed” for research?

Me: They are in the basement. I don’t need them anymore.

Coe: WTF? Why not?

Me: Because I am not writing an historical mystery set in the 1920’s anymore. I am setting it in modern time.

Coe: So just how many research books does one need to write this modern mystery?

Me: You know, I do not think that someone who has every book ever written by Steven King, Wilber Smith, Tom Clancy, Lee Child, Vince Flynn, Stephen Hunter and every sniper writer known to man, just to name a FEW, really needs to give me attitude about buying a baker’s dozen of crime research books. And really, do you want to get on my bad side when you know I am amassing a library of poisons, weapons and murder methods?

Coe: Pffft. Amazon is keeping track of all your purchases and has probably already alerted Homeland Security.

Me: They will never take me alive.

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