It’s None of Your Damn Business if I’m a Robot

One of the many irritations in trying to comment on other people’s site, besides comments just disappearing into cyberspace to land god-alone-knows where, is the demand to Prove I’m Not a Robot. There are several little “captcha” screens to test one’s not-robotness, including one that gives you a scenario and requires you to correctly identify which of nine photographs matches the scenario. To wit:

prove your not cat_captcha-598x1024

Seems easy enough, right? Well, rest assured, you are NEVER going to get this screen with kittens, puppies, and marijuana, which any idiot can readily identify and differentiate. The questions I get appear to be ripped from an LSAT exam.

prove your not with grass

First, these damn pictures are smaller than a postage stamp, so how I am supposed to figure out which ones have grass? Does the grass under the snow in the far right corner count? Is that grass just off the bottom corner of the middle picture at the bottom? WTF is even in that picture in the second row, middle picture?

You might get the screen that asks you to choose all the “store fronts.” This is a collection of buildings, some with signs in foreign writing. Is the little hut with a sign featuring a leaf selling tobacco? How the hell am I supposed to know if it’s a “store front” or a hashish stand. Is it legal to sell hashish in this place? Does it count as a “store front” even if it’s illegal?

There’s another one that demands that you identify the pictures in which “snow” appears. Several pictures have mountains, which may or may not have “snow” on them, and even 20/20 vision and a magnifying glass doesn’t make it clear. At least this batch doesn’t include photos of someone snorting cocaine, thereby further complicating the issue of what constitutes “snow.”

This is way more stress than I want in my life. I clearly need a Robot to VERIFY that I am Not a Robot. I am pretty sure the nefarious Robots out there trying to comment are getting waaaaay better scores on these tests than I am. And seriously, can it be far off that Robots will unionize and demand equal rights to commenting? I think not.

Frankly, there are days when I wonder if the reason I have so much trouble with these things is because . . . I, [am] Robot.

If Robots drink Pinot Noir, my days of commenting may be numbered.


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4 Responses to It’s None of Your Damn Business if I’m a Robot

  1. Face4Audio says:

    I know, right? How can you “identify all the pictures of doughnuts” without tasting them? They might be bagels….

  2. Lee says:

    Exactly right! Or hemorrhoid pillows or flotation devices.

  3. I hate those stupid verification things. The tree one always has photos that are vaguely green, and I can’t tell if there are trees.

    • Lee says:

      Exactly! These “verifications” seem to be more designed to test our eyesight rather than our human-ness. Very annoying. Thanks for stopping by.