Oh What a Tangled Web We Weave . . .

When we start Googling tarantulas.
Chilian_Rose_Hair_Tarantula
leave it alone–you are stressing it out.

Previously, (insert Law and Order music) we learned that Cambodian Zebra Tarantulas are an intergalactic, farm-raised delicacy, ready to delight friends and family. But questions remained unanswered:

Why is farm raised better than wild?*
What about feeding wild insects to farm raised tarantulas?**
Do they taste like chicken?***
How are the tarantulas cared for? ****

Searching for those answers lead to even more questions, such as, Are You People Crazy?

The answer to the last question is an unqualified Yes. It turns out that some people keep tarantulas as pets instead of serving them as canapes. For example, Costa Rican Zebra Tarantulas are not pantry staples, but rather:

“…a hardy, inexpensive spider with wonderful coloration! Even though it is a generally docile species, you shouldn’t get the impression that this spider can be held. Costa Rican Zebra Tarantulas can display incredible speed if startled by the slightest occurrence.”

Let’s just start by saying that I have never had the impression, not once in my entire life, that a spider can or should be “held.” And I am placing the monetary adjective of “inexpensive spider” in the same dubious category as “free cat.” Also, they are both planning to kill you while you sleep.

More on Keeping Your Mitts Off The Tarantula:

the Chilean Rose Haired Tarantula (seen above) is described as: “…docile and tolerant … rose hairs can be handled, but handling may cause stress to the animal.”

See? Tarantulas do not want to be handled because it is stressful. Nobody wants a stressed out spider. Plus, they know you are thinking about baking them and serving them to your friends and that is even more stressful.

Now the answers to those pressing questions:

*

“…wild caught tarantulas can have parasites, so it is almost always a better idea to get a captive bred tarantula.”

Obviously, nobody wants a parasite-infected tarantula for a pet or an appetizer.

**

“…wild caught insects should never be fed, since they can carry disease. All insects should be gut loaded (fed a nutritious diet about 24-hours before being offered to your [pet]).”

See? I told you. A non-wild insect diet for your tarantula is an absolute must.

***

They taste like vodka. Lots of vodka. That’s my own quote.

****

“It is very important to keep a journal for each animal that records feeding, refusal, molting, unusual behavior, changes in behavior and dates of bulb changes. This will help your veterinarian trouble-shoot any health issues.”

Oh please. I didn’t put that much effort into raising kids.

Although in retrospect, maybe I should have paid more attention to those bulb changes.

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